As an Asian-American female, you have to keep your guard up when it comes to dating because you don’t know if guys are dating you because they’re into martial arts or they think you look like that girl from [Insert latest Jet Li/Jackie Chan movie].

So, if you aren’t one of those weirdos with an Asian fetish, and you just think that girl with long black hair and almond-shaped eyes is just a cool person, here are some tips about dating Asian girls:

10. If you meet a cute Asian chick at a bar or club, don’t use the following words or related words; ninja, martial arts, karate, Karate Kid 1, 2, 3, Jean Claude Van Damn movies, kung fu, Anything with dragons or crouching tigers. She might throw her drink at you.

9. Don’t assume that we can’t speak English. We may be faking an accent to escape from the old, potbellied man in the corner who has traveled far and wide to “The Orient.” I’ve done this on occasion and it’s a fabulous tool to evade weirdos.

8. No, I’m not Lucy Liu or Margaret Cho. Definitely not Tila Tequila.

7. Don’t ask us whether we’re submissive or dominant. You’ll find out soon enough.

6. Going back to #10, most of us don’t know martial arts, though we respect it. Kung fu is cool, but that is relegated for old Bruce Lee/Jackie Chan/Jet Li movies. We don’t all know kung fu moves, so don’t bust out some sort of weird karate kick and assume that it will turn us on. Because it won’t. Instead, we’ll probably ask you if you have some sort of reflex issue and perhaps you should go see a chiropractor.

5. If you do date an Asian chick and attend a family function where you’re the only non-Asian, have courtesy and try the cuisine or try to be engaged. You might feel out of place (Welcome to our world), but if you put forth an effort, your girl will thank you in more ways than one.

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Random, but I was cleaning out my camera and found these pics of the book, “Stuff White People Like,” which is also a REALLY POPULAR BLOG. It’s quite funny to read actually and haha…“ASIAN GIRLS” is their top post.
Not sure exactly how I feel about that. Oh yeah, um..objectified. And gross.

Trust me, I know what the “Asian Fetish,” is all about and even wrote a post on Manolith a while back called, “Top 10 Things You Should Know About Dating Asian Girls.”

I had to take pics of the book for the blog!!

The Asian Girls Pages… Are you kidding me? LOL

Also, there was this book about the fabulousness of Chuck Norris. What’s the obsession with him?

You may have guessed that I’m Asian-American and have heard my share of racial jokes in my lifetime. There are many pertaining to Asian females. (Shocking, I know) Anyway, I thought I’d humorously take a stab at some of the stereotypes when writing a post for Manolith called “Top 10 Things You Should Know About Dating Asian Girls.”

Comedy is the only way you should confront stereotypes. Well in most cases anyway. Enjoy!
(Note the Google Ads on the left side of this page)

I wrote this a while back, and I’ve learned a bit since then. I hope that it clears up a few misconceptions about Asian/Asian-American women, done with humor and sarcasm, of course.

Enjoy.

10. If you meet a cute Asian chick at a bar or club, don’t use the following words or related words; ninja, martial arts, karate, Karate Kid 1, 2, 3, Jean Claude Van Damn movies, kung fu, Anything with dragons or crouching tigers. She might throw her drink at you.

9. Don’t assume that they can’t speak English. They may be faking an accent to escape from the old, potbellied man in the corner who has traveled far and wide to “The Orient.”

8. No, I’m not Lucy Liu or Margaret Cho.

7. Don’t ask them whether they’re submissive or dominant. (This has actually been asked to several friends of mine. No joke)

6. Going back to #10, most of us don’t know martial arts, though we respect it. Kung fu is cool, but that is relegated for old Bruce Lee/Jackie Chan/Jet Li movies. We don’t all know kung fu moves, so don’t bust out some sort of weird karate kick and assume that it will turn us on. Because it won’t.

5. If you do date an Asian chick and attend a family function where you’re the only non-Asian, have courtesy and try the food or at least put the food on your plate. Most of the family members are looking to see if you actually care about getting to know her culture. If you don’t like the cuisine, just smile, take over the conversation and possibly no one will notice.

4. Don’t assume that we are all professional manicurists, masseuses or happy ending givers. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do, but know that we are a varied bunch from lawyers, students, doctors to writers and professional karaoke champions. Okay, so that last one was slightly stereotypical.

3. Don’t assume that we only date white or black guys. We like Asian guys too (By the way, Asian guys get such a bad rep in the media, but they’re awesome. Look at John Cho a.k.a. The MILF guy…love him!) and Latino and Indian, South Asian, and European. You might make us laugh or like go cart racing and listening to old songs from PM Dawn. Or 2pac.

2. Books such as “How to Attract Asian Women,” and “How to Pick up Japanese Chicks and Doom Your Immortal Soul” are for/by Tools. And they’re one way that an Asian chick will probably slap you. (Great, now this list will probably boost the sales of these awful pieces of literature on Amazon)

1. Please don’t mention the words “Harajuku Girls” in front of us. Those little kewpie dolls that act like Gwen Stefani’s personal pets really annoy us. (I actually read that in their contract, they’re not allowed to speak, they just stand there and look Japanese…are you kidding me?)

Added bonus: If you’re one of those guys’ who “ONLY” dates Asian females, you obviously have some weird issues that you never resolved when you were watching “Karate Kid” or “Rising Sun.” If this is the case, admit that you have a problem and step away from the ramen noodles, manga or anime, and obsession with all things that are Far East.

BTW, sometimes I feel like people look at me as though I’m the below picture. For example, when I’m in a grocery store, an audition, or a music event. (Note: I’m not Chiaki Kuriyama, though she did kick some ass in “Kill Bill.” Oh, and I don’t own that ball/chain contraption)