Wow… this is a really hard post to write, and I’ve been putting it off for a while because I don’t know how to write this. (NOTE: There will be rambling in this post) I’m the type of person who analyzes things to the “T,” and tries to make sense of everything little thing that happens, but recently…I’ve stopped. Truly. I mean, as markets fall, people lose their jobs and life savings, and uncertainty is the name of the game, nothing really makes sense to me anymore. People are probably wondering everyday, “How did we get here?” and most importantly, “What am I supposed to do about it?”

Life is RANDOM and doesn’t always follow a set planbook, even though you might be Type A and try to make it. (perfectly diagrammed with tons of notes/guidelines/stick-its).  So, right now is the time to figure out how to make things work.  My brother has always been pretty hard on me, treating me like a brother because he thought that it would toughen me up. (which it kinda did)  He always said, “Handle it,” meaning to not have any excuses and just do it. Finish the job. Do what you gotta do.

So… I’m going back to auditioning full-time, and also creating content for two websites, Twirlit, a fashion/beauty site, and also becoming the female voice for the men’s site, “Manolith.“ For the past six months, I was unable to audition because of my job and would work 50 hours per week, and then work on a comedic screenplay with Mark, my writing partner. (We’ve had meetings about this project and things are moving along….)

I was basically a robot that worked constantly and started to kind of lose myself, who I was.  With the constant influx of negative, scary Economic news around me, I just put my head down and worked like a very efficient elf.   Woke up, went to the gym, went to the office, and then met with Mark for a late night writing session.  But one day, I woke up and realized, “I can’t do this anymore.  I can’t give up my dreams/goals because you only get one life.” It was just one of those realizations and for once, my heart told my brain to shut up.  I decided to go with my heart, so I’ll be leaving docstoc where I’ve rocked the docs, uploaded a ridiculous amount of content, learned about SEO and HTML, worked with J, Alon, Ilya, and Andrew in our tiny office in Beverly Hills and then watched as the company moved to Santa Monica and grew.  Best of luck to you guys as the company continues to grow!!!

As for me, I’ll be going back to auditioning and will be blogging more about that process, and just more of the creative projects that I’ve been working on… and to start it off, I’ve decided to interview myself. Yup. Weirdo….yes I am.

“Why did you actually come to LA?”

Well duh, it was to act on TV shows/movies, do improv, write screenplays and sell them, live in a place where it barely rains, maybe date a cute surfer guy before realizing all he does is surf. Sigh.  Oh, and drink Coffee Bean iced blendeds. Those things are bomb.

What were your first jobs when moving to LA?

I worked as a waitress in Beverly Hills and then in West Hollywood, logged for reality TV shows (OMG…awful job but taught me a lot about sitting on my ass and staring at footage), worked as a tutor, worked as a temp…  Craziness. Was very broke. But, I do think everyone should work in the service industry at some point in their lives… you learn about patience and just being nice to people. People can be so rude, but working as a waitress taught me how to deal with a-holes, snobs, cheapskates and more delightful characters. So, remember to always tip well!

How the hell do you write a screenplay?

Uh… lots of drafts of crap where you wonder why your characters are way too obvious, why your scene needs to be cut, and if it’s funny enough.  I tend to lean towards writing comedies, and it just takes lots of practice. You need to read lots of produced scripts, watch a lot of TV shows (good and bad), read a lot in general and just be passionate about it.  Every single successful person has told me this… You really need to love what you do in order to make it.  Truly. Madly. Deeply. (Sorry.. OLD SKOOL SONG FROM THE 90′s)

What’s auditioning like?

Well, you go into a room with a Casting director, and if you’ve been called back, its with a few producers, an assistant and a camera.  Everyone is usually pretty cordial and then you have about 3-5 minutes to really nail your audition.  Pretty nerve-wracking, but like anything in life, you get better with practice and experience.

How come you gave up auditioning while working at docstoc?

My parents’ financial situation was pretty dire starting at the end of last year, and I had to decide between continuing with my dreams/goals and staying at a steady job to help out my parents.  It kind of tore me up inside to have to choose and I definitely felt as though I was sawing off my arm when I had a call with my agent saying, “I can’t audition anymore.”  She understood but you have to understand that even getting to work with a good acting agent who pushes for you and believes in you is VERY DIFFICULT. There are tons of actors in Los Angeles and to be able to get representation who actually thinks you’re worth making calls for, pushing for projects, etc… is something you have to be grateful for.  Anyway, it almost killed me when I had to stop auditioning, but then… I decided to put my creativity into screenwriting.

What’s screenplays are you referencing?

One is a comedic screenplay that we’ve gotten some buzz about (sorry, can’t be more detailed than that), and the other is a sports movie that is “Mean Girls” meets “Bend It Like Beckham.”  I started writing it about two years ago, did numerous re-writes, annoyed a bunch of people who gave me notes/suggestions on it, and just kept plugging away at it.

Why haven’t you quit yet?

Well, I’m basically psycho. Or crazy. Maybe a little bit of both.  The truth is that I’m driven by passion and my love of stories and making people laugh/making fun of stereotypes.  I grew up seeing a lot of injustice, hatred, racism, ignorance and would always daydream, write songs, and write short stories.  This was my escape… by creating stories in my head… and singing, of course!  Also, I’m a believer in God, and think that he has a bigger plan for me, these stories, and even this blog.  Hopefully the plan is to just inspire people to find their inner goals, passions and talents, and use them to give back and help others.  As an actor/writer, I also hope to inspire little girls/boys who might look different or just not fit in, to just find their talents and learn that what other people think really doesn’t matter.  Seriously.  I wish I knew that when I was younger.

So, what’s going on with the acting?

Well, I had a producers’ session for an NBC Pilot last week, and am just starting it back up again.  People look down on acting, but it’s something that entertains, inspires, and makes people laugh/cry.  I absolutely love playing weird/random characters like when I was on “The Office.”

Will you miss documents?

Hell to the yeah.  I mean documents have been my life for the past year and a half.  I used to go to bed thinking, “Oh snap, what do I have to upload tomorrow?”  Also,whenever we’d go grab a drink, one of my friends would say, “Kat, YOU CAN’T HAVE MY DOCUMENTS,” all because I asked him to upload his documents ONE time.  To this day, he still says this.  If you’re reading this Rich, I DON’T WANT YOUR DOCUMENTS!!! LOL.

Do you feel like a tool/loser for interviewing yourself?

Um…yeah, what else is new.  Story of my life.